I think I died a long time ago.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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