yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize