I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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