ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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