Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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