Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Two words: nipple clamps
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