dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
