put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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