that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
this hospital has no fireball
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
