Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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