I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
