tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
