I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
