U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
