Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
