Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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