I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
