kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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