You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
