I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Someone came in the potted fern
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
