You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize