You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
