i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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