This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
