Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I touched a dick in church today
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
