it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
