I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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