two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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