WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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