she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I will pee on everything he values.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
