Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
