is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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