Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
