We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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