We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize