she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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