yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
