that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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