Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
