I think my vagina is haunted
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize