Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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