he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
