Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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