dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
