loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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