You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
