you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
