The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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