im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
