Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Terrible idea I love it
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
