You just made me feel so damn special
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
even my farts smell like vagina
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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