They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
