Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
