Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
