Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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