The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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