then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
