I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
