I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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