Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
