Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
