it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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