some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
