The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
