He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
