I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
