remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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