just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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