Pants 0. Shit 1.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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