Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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