So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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